LGBT talk

She's on the "I'm okay with gays, I just hate f*gs" train, like everyone else in my life. She's okay with it until they don't act on it. But again, she's a strange girl, a total hipster, and she hates most stuff. Like, she will hate you if you don't share her political views, or her taste in clothes or music, but at the end of the day I'm sure she'll try to be understaning. Or I hope so, at least.
We don't have an easy relationship. She thinks I'm a weirdo and I think she's a pain in the ass, but I know it's because I'm jealous of her perfect school credits and perfect boyfriend and stuff. But I'm sure we still love each other, and maybe talking openly about this kind of stuff will help saving things between us.

Eli, I hope everything goes well for you. I have my fingers crossed! I think in this case the best option is to hope for the best, but to expect the worst, so you can prepare yourself. I'm sure you will be ok though. Keep us updated.

Quote :

A Dialogue With My 86-year-old Grandmother About LGBT Rights & Marriage Equality
I saw this article:
http: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/02/29/gay-activists-grandparents-marriage-equality_n_1310537.html
earlier this afternoon and I got suddenly curious how my 86yo grandmother felt about marriage equality and LGBT rights. Since she's often hilarious, I decided to interview her on the phone and post it here. I put it on speakerphone, recorded it, then transcribed it. She's in Miami, and Cuban-born, so this is translated from Spanish. She's a pretty feisty lady. I want to be her when I grow up. Here's what she said:

Me: Grandma, what do you think about this couple in their 90s supporting their gay grandkids in the fight for marriage equality?

Grandma: I think it's very nice. You have to support your family, no matter who they are. You can't reject people for things like that.

Me: If you had gay or lesbian family, would you do the same?

Grandma: I don't know if I could make a video like those people. They speak English.

Me: What about in Spanish? Would you make videos supporting marriage equality in Spanish.

Grandma: Ay... don't get any ideas. I don't want to make a video.

Me: But is it okay if I post this on the Internet? On one of my websites

Grandma: Ignorant people might yell at you.

Me: Oh, that's okay, I don't mind.

Grandma: Yes, you can put what I said on the Internet.

Me: Okay. So do you support gay and lesbian people getting married?

Grandma: I think gay people should be able to get married. Times have changed. Even my ideas have changed. There used to be a lot of ignorance and rumors about gay people, mostly because they had to live in hiding, you know, you couldn't be yourself out in public like they can be sometimes now. So I think people just made things up. But think gay people should be allowed to live their lives like everyone else.

Me: Would you go to a gay wedding?

Grandma: Yes, I would. It would probably be more lively than a regular one. I hate weddings. They're so boring.

Me: They really are. What do you think about people who protest gay marriage?

Grandma: Oh. Idiots.

Me: They're wrong?

Grandma: Idiots. Dumb people with nothing better to do. Out of all the things to protest. They should be out trying to do some good in the world instead.

Me: Do you think you would have felt the same way when you were my age?

Grandma: (Pauses) I don't think I gave it any thought. People didn't talk about these things back then. There was a lot of ignorance. Everybody knew gay people, of course, but people didn't talk about it in normal conversation, much less in public like on the news now. I think that's good. Talking is always good. When people know things, they can make up their own minds.I would like to think that maybe with a little information and thinking about it, I would feel the same way.

Me: Do you think gay people should be able to adopt kids?

Grandma: Of course.

Me: As a Christian, what do you think the Bible says about gay people?

Grandma: The Bible is very clear that Jesus doesn't care about race or gender or where you came from or anything. He loves everyone.

Me: What about the parts of the Bible that says gay people should be stoned to death?
Grandma: We don't stone people to death anymore...

Me: So you don't think that applies?

Grandma: I think God gave us some common sense to be able to figure out what parts were meant for forever, like "don't kill" and "don't steal" and "be good to people," and what parts were just a record of the society people lived in back then. We don't hide women in the dark during their periods anymore, either. Things like that.

Me: What about gays in the military? Do you think that should be allowed?

Grandma: You know, when I heard President Obama had helped made that legal, I was surprised it already wasn't. If you're willing to pick up a gun and go fight in some war somewhere for my freedom, I'm not willing to do that, so if you are, I don't care if you have a boyfriend or a girlfriend or fifteen cats.

Me: Yeah, I think most people supported that one.

Grandma: It's like I told you. God gave us common sense for a reason.

Me: I know you've had a few close gay male friends. Have you ever had a lesbian friend?

Grandma: I did in Cuba. She was my neighbor and she did everyone's hair on the block. You couldn't really tell she was a lesbian, but she told me, after many years of knowing her.

Me: What do you mean by "you couldn't tell she was a lesbian?"

Grandma: Well, she was very glamorous. She looked like a movie star all the time - that's why she did everyone's hair. Some lesbians, you can tell.

Me: In English, they call the ability to tell if someone's gay "gaydar." Like "radar" but for "gay."

Grandma: Oh! I think I have that.

Me: You think you have good gaydar?

Grandma: Well, I was an artist, so I was around a lot of gay men. And I can usually tell, but Paula fooled me.

Me: The slang term for lesbians who are very conventionally feminine in English is "lipstick lesbian."

Grandma: She did wear lipstick!

Me: Do you think a lot of older people think like you do?

Grandma: I think so. A lot of older people keep up with the news better than you think. And you get to be my age and you realize a lot of past mistakes in your thinking. You realize that a lot of things you think mattered, really don't. And the people who don't think like that, it's mostly because they don't know any better. But even at my age, people can be taught.

Me: Thank you, Pupa.

Grandma: You should show me your website when you put this up. I hope a lot of people read it.
x

Naww, what a legend!

I wish mine were like that. My grandfather thinks gays should burn in hell.
Then again, i was watching Heart in front of them yesterday, and no one said anything, though they prolly weren't paying much attention to the TV... But my mum deciding to say "ugh rosie do we have to watch them kiss over and over again?" to draw attention to me (i was rewinding the kiss haha). She was probably hoping my grandparents would lecture me on why 2 girls kissing is wrong.
/tangent.

@Eli, you still planning on telling your sister soon?

I'm planning to tell her, but I don't think it's going to be that soon.

LOL you were srsly rewinding the kiss? In front of them?

Subtle, Rosie.

Forget soon..Whenever you feel comfortable

And yeah, i was haha, but it's not like they had their eyes glued to the TV. They were sitting in the kitchen talking to each other. (You can see the TV from the kitchen though). My mum noticed me rewinding the kiss and decided to draw attention to it

But meh idgaf anymore if they see that stuff... They're gonna have to learn to love it, or fuck them.

@Charlie- i know

Are you ever going to tell your mom directly, Rosie? Or just live your life and let her think what she wants?

That's a good attitude to have.

eli_ wrote:

Are you ever going to tell your mom directly, Rosie? Or just live your life and let her think what she wants?

I think when i get a girlfriend, i'll start to directly come out to people generally.... But for now, i'm just not going to act straight, if you get what i'm saying... I'll just continue to drop little ambiguous hints.

I just can't imagine going up to her now and saying "I'm gay". For the obvious reason, but also because we don't have emotional talks etc... pretty sure i haven't hugged my mum for like, years haha...and i don't think we've ever said "i love you".

voteforalice1 wrote:

I just can't imagine going up to her now and saying "I'm gay". For the obvious reason, but also because we don't have emotional talks etc... pretty sure i haven't hugged my mum for like, years haha...and i don't think we've ever said "i love you".

That is so sad. I have really affectionate parents, and anything else seems so surreal.
My best friends mom is like yours, and she always tell me stories about her family like it's no big deal, and it seems so horrible to me.

Yeah it's no biggie for me either... I think my mum grew up the same way, so she kind of feels weird being affectionate... But my dad's awesome. He's very sensitive, and says "i love you bellaaaa" all the time, so.. he makes up for it haha.

Like seriously he cried watching The Biggest Loser.

awww your dad sounds awesome

I was going to say "update ya'll" but I guess that's only for coming out stories. And I'm sorry I'm always on this thread, I know I should stop obsessing about my sexuality. But I feel like I should be honest with you guys.

So, I've been having a very hard time in the past months and questioned a lot of things about myself. At some point I looked for help with a couple of lgbtq groups online, tried to explain the mess that was my brain. I had a lot of response from people experiencing the same things, and they were all bisexuals. It was kinda surreal actually. I don't know if that's the right answer yet, but that's why I'm trying this new label and see if it works for me. It's like... a lot easier and so much more complicated at the same time.
/end update.

Cwtches at ya Eli

this is just the trailer

Quote :

"What do I do if my child is gay?" LEAD WITH LOVE is a 35-minute documentary created to help answer that question. The film follows four families as they share their honest reactions to hearing that their child is gay, including the intense emotions, fears, and questions that it raised. Interviews with psychologists, teachers, and clergy provide factual answers to parents' most commonly asked questions, as well as concrete guidance to help parents keep their children healthy and safe during this challenging time. View the full film for free at www.leadwithlovefilm.com.

So... Obama's comments yesterday... Thoughts?

Good for him, now to see how many votes it's going to cost him. It's mindblowing that it's still a newsworth subject though; I've been very, VERY spoiled to grow up in Canada.

It reignited support for him from a lot of us.

Oh, I'm sure it's going to win him a number of votes and "reignite the base" or whatever political crapola you want to use, but it's going to cost him too. It's the moral thing to do and I support him further. Hopefully it begins to make some sort of visible change outside of vocal support though.

Such a non-issue here, it's more difficult to understand it as an issue worthy of such debate; as much as our Prime Minister isn't a huge fan of it, and parts of the Conservatives' base is against it, it'd be an absolute scandal and would cost them any election if someone made an issue out of it.

I thought that's an interesting view from The Economist:

Good for Obama, bad for gay marriage

Quote :

As of today, gay marriage is once again a partisan issue at the heart of a presidential election campaign. Many Republicans who might have had flexible opinions as of yesterday are now going to find themselves psychologically inclined to move towards the party line. Mitt Romney will be forced, within the next hours or days, to come out with a full-throated argument against gay marriage. Republican office-holders will have to vocally support that position. Republican media outfits (Fox News, conservative talk radio, RedState and so forth) will have to join the attack. Millions of GOP voters who otherwise might have gradually reconciled themselves to gay marriage within the next few months will be held back by the ideological alignments created in this presidential campaign.

Obama needed to do this. I know that the issue hurts him with some voters but his supporters from four years ago, such as myself, lost a lot of our passion for him. You have to have passionate people willing to work for you to win elections. I don't think there was any passion anywhere for him. This gives people that fire back. It was a bold political move to make. It's the first time in a long time that I'm actually proud of the President.

It's a pretty big deal regardless of his reasons and regardless of whether you see it as having a positive or detrimental influence on people's opinion on gay marriage.

Agree, it is such a big deal!