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 LGBT talk

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Charles

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Posts : 3851
Location : Wales

PostSubject: Re: LGBT talk    Thu Jan 05, 2012 1:05 pm

Life story or not, it was pretty interesting. smile The first girl in my 'story' was an Army brat too, must be really hard living that life. But I guess you don't really know any different?
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Jugz da' Clown

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PostSubject: Re: LGBT talk    Thu Jan 05, 2012 1:07 pm

Gay confession- Girls in general turn me on more, and more often, than guys do.

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Phyxrak

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Posts : 608
Location : Weho(for now)

PostSubject: Re: LGBT talk    Thu Jan 05, 2012 1:12 pm

Jugz da' Clown wrote:
Gay confession- Girls in general turn me on more, and more often, than guys do.


Same.
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Span_ski

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Posts : 3367
Location : UK

PostSubject: Re: LGBT talk    Thu Jan 05, 2012 2:28 pm

I really think I should probably post something here, but I don't know where to start lol Shrug
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Jugz da' Clown

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PostSubject: Re: LGBT talk    Thu Jan 05, 2012 2:38 pm

I didn't know where to start either. Thus the life story. Last night I kept typing stuff, then deleting it cuz I didn't want to overshare. Lol.
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Span_ski

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Location : UK

PostSubject: Re: LGBT talk    Thu Jan 05, 2012 2:46 pm

Jugz da' Clown wrote:
I didn't know where to start either. Thus the life story. Last night I kept typing stuff, then deleting it cuz I didn't want to overshare. Lol.

Lol.. exactly!
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Charles

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Location : Wales

PostSubject: Re: LGBT talk    Thu Jan 05, 2012 2:50 pm

No such thing as oversharing here. Go for it! Lol.
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Span_ski

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Location : UK

PostSubject: Re: LGBT talk    Thu Jan 05, 2012 3:50 pm

Trust me.. in my case there is lol
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Charles

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Posts : 3851
Location : Wales

PostSubject: Re: LGBT talk    Thu Jan 05, 2012 3:57 pm

Okay then... I won't even ask what that means. smile
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eli_

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Posts : 1533
Location : Italy

PostSubject: Re: LGBT talk    Thu Jan 05, 2012 4:01 pm

Ok, here's my story.
When I was a kid I had no clue, I don't know how people are able to tell at that age. When adults asked if I had a crush on someone I said 'boy so and so' because that's what they wanted to hear, and in the meantime I had crushes on an actress or a teacher or the lady who reads the news on tv, but I didn't know what that meant, I just thought they were pretty.

First time I thought 'shit what if I'm gay' I was 12 and I immediately decided that I hadn't to deal with it right now, so from that moment on I kept ignoring the problem or trying to convince myself I liked boys. I did a pretty good job too, when I was in high school I was a pro at faking interest in guys. I still do that with most of my friends actually, but even back then deep down I knew I was lying, I just chose to pretend, even with myself, that I wasn't. It's not that easy to explain, but I kinda hoped that time would fix me eventually. Anyway, high school was a disaster, I didn't fit anywhere, I was awkward around boys and around girls.

Four years ago I finally felt like I couldn't deny it anymore and I panicked instead. Worst year of my life, I felt incredibly guilty every time I let myself look at a girl, I literally hid at home and even didn't watch tv for months to avoid women completely.
And here comes the lame part, the two things that helped me in the end are Glee and tumblr. Glee because I had a crush on Lea Michele (still have, actually) and at some point I decided that fuck with it, if I wanted to watch Halo/Walking on Sunshine another time to enjoy her beautiful legs in that yellow dress I was going to do it! And of course Santana's storyline helped me so so so much, first time in my life I could relate to a character like that, and thanks to her I managed to embrace it completely.
In the meantime I found on tumblr other people who watched Glee and some of them were lesbians, and for the first time I read what they had to say and then talked to them directly, and of course I felt like I finally fit somewhere.

In the past year I came to the conclusion that I suffered so much when I was younger because I was completely alone, I had nobody to talk about it with, and society made me think that being a lesbian was wrong and scary. Growing up I didn't have one single positive lesbian figure to look up to in real life or on tv/books/cinema, it was just me and my scary thoughts and a bunch of judgmental people. In the end all that it took was a couple of sympathetic people on the internet and a character on a bad tv show. It's not that much to ask isn't it? So why I couldn't have even that?

Sorry, I'm rambling at this point, it's hard to explain things in English. Hope nobody read all this stuff! And I feel like I need to add that I'm still not 100% sure that I'm gay. I mean, I find men uninteresting and sometimes gross and I never fell for any of them, but I don't hate them completely, I guess. I haven't ruled out the possibilty of being bi yet, I know it sounds crazy, but sometimes I still look at a boy and think he's cute and don't know what that means, then I think about it and decide I obviously prefer girls, then I'm not so sure anymore.
God this post is so long. Sorry! Talk about oversharing.
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Shanna_

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Location : Ohio

PostSubject: Re: LGBT talk    Thu Jan 05, 2012 4:15 pm

Eli I want to hug you right now. Hug
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Isa

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PostSubject: Re: LGBT talk    Thu Jan 05, 2012 4:17 pm

Eli, I read your entire post and I survived! Laughing

I'm glad you wrote it and I'm glad we have this place here to talk about things like that. I feel we can share this and it's important to all of us, so that's nice.

I can totally relate to your feelings of being completely alone. I still feel like that at points. I have many straight girl friends that I love, but I always feel I'm not entirely part of the group and at the same time I don't want to have gay friends just because they are gay. It's complex. I don't know if I'm making sense...

Anyway, it took me years to understand what was going on with me and I didn't have anyone to talk to. This can be so hard. I always knew I had some sort of fascination towards women that I never had towards men. But it took me years to accept what this was and then years to know what to do. But I guess each person has its own pace, right? I'm happy now that I'm fine with myself, that's the most important thing.
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Charles

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Location : Wales

PostSubject: Re: LGBT talk    Thu Jan 05, 2012 4:18 pm

And one from me Eli Hug
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Isa

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PostSubject: Re: LGBT talk    Thu Jan 05, 2012 4:20 pm

Definitely time for Group hug
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eli_

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Posts : 1533
Location : Italy

PostSubject: Re: LGBT talk    Thu Jan 05, 2012 4:21 pm

Thanks for all the hugs and sympathy.
Group hug
and you know what, Ive been thinking about it all day, and I decided I'm going to come out to that friend I was talking about yesterday, right now, I'm going to write her a mail. wow
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Isa

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PostSubject: Re: LGBT talk    Thu Jan 05, 2012 4:25 pm

YAY

That's great, Eli! I'm happy for you. Tell us how it went later, if you feel like sharing.
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Span_ski

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Location : UK

PostSubject: Re: LGBT talk    Thu Jan 05, 2012 4:27 pm

Good luck Eli. Hug
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Charles

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Posts : 3851
Location : Wales

PostSubject: Re: LGBT talk    Thu Jan 05, 2012 4:30 pm

Yes, Eli! Check you out. Legend. smile
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Span_ski

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Location : UK

PostSubject: Re: LGBT talk    Thu Jan 05, 2012 4:38 pm

Charlie wrote:
Okay then... I won't even ask what that means. smile

I will share... I just find it difficult to put things unto words... and also to explain where I am right now is tricky to say the least.
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eli_

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PostSubject: Re: LGBT talk    Thu Jan 05, 2012 4:53 pm

Okay, she says it wasn't obvious but she isn't that surprised. Seemed a little shocked tbh, but at least I got a 'I love you no matter what'. That's not bad right? Maybe we'll talk about it tomorrow
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Charles

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Posts : 3851
Location : Wales

PostSubject: Re: LGBT talk    Thu Jan 05, 2012 4:56 pm

eli_ wrote:
Okay, she says it wasn't obvious but she isn't that surprised. Seemed a little shocked tbh, but at least I got a 'I love you no matter what'. That's not bad right? Maybe we'll talk about it tomorrow

Nothing negative there. Looks like a great result to me. smile I'm proud of you. Wink
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Charles

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PostSubject: Re: LGBT talk    Thu Jan 05, 2012 4:56 pm

Span_ski wrote:
Charlie wrote:
Okay then... I won't even ask what that means. smile

I will share... I just find it difficult to put things unto words... and also to explain where I am right now is tricky to say the least.

You don't have to say anything at all if you're not comfortable with it or whatever. smile Hug


Last edited by Charlie on Thu Jan 05, 2012 5:34 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Isa

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PostSubject: Re: LGBT talk    Thu Jan 05, 2012 4:58 pm

Looks good to me too. Shock/surprise is normal when it isn't obvious. And then "I love you no matter what"? Good!

Hug


Last edited by Isabela on Thu Jan 05, 2012 4:58 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Span_ski

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PostSubject: Re: LGBT talk    Thu Jan 05, 2012 4:58 pm

That sounds good smile

She probably just needs a bit of time to process.

Good on you though mate smile
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eli_

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Location : Italy

PostSubject: Re: LGBT talk    Thu Jan 05, 2012 5:04 pm

I thought I was screwed the moment she saw my tumblr, but apparently she just thought that I was reblogging all those girls because I "wanted to be like them"? That's what straight girls feel about other girls then? So like, I panicked for nothing.
But you guys are great! It's like having an army backing me up
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