Random thoughts VII

I try to stay calm. To not let college to win. I do the things because I want to do them but sometimes I put an extra effort to them for all the people that thought I couldn't I also try to know what my limits are... most of the times I fail, I knew I was going to fail. And I also try to think that if it were so easy, everyone would have a college degree. A little bit of sacrifice is required I guess.
Also yeah, it's almost 5 am. I go out and came back about 2 hours ago and I can't sleep. Probably because I got up really late today (or yesterday?)

Good morning All!

Rosie. Sounds like you're having quite a day. I'm really glad your mum is ok. I hope you figure the uni stuff out. It's a tough place, trying to figure out the best path to follow, especially when you're not sure what you wanna do. Sometimes the motivation you need just appears out of nowhere though.

Btw, it's really cold in the UK! Ok, well for winter it's not actually that cold, but I'm freezing!

You know, Rosie, I dropped out of uni too. I went there because I had no clue what to do with my life, but ended up skipping classes becuse I couldn't care less about what I was studying. I think there's nothing wrong with taking some months to figure out what you want to do, but then you need a plan B. Either you go back to uni, and this time try to take it seriously, or you find something else to do. Doing nothing is fun for a while but really depressing on the long run.

Rosie, sorry to hear you're having a rough day.

Sometimes I feel like the biggest thing with this whole uni vs. job (and other aspects of life in general) is not to be too concerned with having all the answers. I'm very jealous of people who know what they want to do from an early age and actually stick to it, but from what I've learned, that's very rare. For a long time I got bogged down with the pressure of these types of decisions but then I realised that some people just simply don't know what they want to do. And once I started thinking like that it felt like a weight off my shoulders. When you're so weighed down with stuffs like that, it's difficult for anyone to think clearly.

Exactly!! In high school I saw people getting married and finding a job at 17, or deciding to become doctors and lawyers like that. It seems like a lot of stress to go through at that age. I'm (almost) 25 and I still have no clue what I'm going to be in two years, and I'm still fine!
Well, I'm a freaking mess, but you know what I mean

...sorry, this wasn't helpful at all.

Well, I just turned 24 and I don;t know what I want to do either. But I just don't let it get to me anymore. Honestly, I've pretty much accepted that I'll never know what I want to do. Lol. Luckily, I've fallen into a good job that I'm great at and because it's for such a big company there are plenty of opportunities for progression. Is this what I want to do forever, though? I don't know. I somehow doubt it. Lol.

mardou wrote:

I try to stay calm. To not let college to win. I do the things because I want to do them but sometimes I put an extra effort to them for all the people that thought I couldn't I also try to know what my limits are... most of the times I fail, I knew I was going to fail. And I also try to think that if it were so easy, everyone would have a college degree. A little bit of sacrifice is required I guess.
Also yeah, it's almost 5 am. I go out and came back about 2 hours ago and I can't sleep. Probably because I got up really late today (or yesterday?)

I like this
What do you study?

Span_ski wrote:

Sometimes the motivation you need just appears out of nowhere though.

Yeah this is true. Occasionally i'll get these little bouts of random motivation.. e.g. right now i feel like continuing with it is actually possible.

eli_ wrote:

You know, Rosie, I dropped out of uni too. I went there because I had no clue what to do with my life, but ended up skipping classes becuse I couldn't care less about what I was studying. I think there's nothing wrong with taking some months to figure out what you want to do, but then you need a plan B. Either you go back to uni, and this time try to take it seriously, or you find something else to do. Doing nothing is fun for a while but really depressing on the long run.

Haha the last sentence is so, so right...
The thing with taking some time to figure it all out- that's what i've actually been doing for the past 6 (technically 9) months after i took a break from my old course(when you guys first saw me on GF is about the time my break started haha).... So this new degree is my Plan B. I was expecting to be able to take it more seriously, but i physically cannot focus, and just don't care. I think i know why, but i also partially blame staring at this computer screen for all this time lol. Glee, fuck you.

Anyway i'm going to the GP on Thursday with a friend to talk about it

Charlie wrote:

Rosie, sorry to hear you're having a rough day.

Sometimes I feel like the biggest thing with this whole uni vs. job (and other aspects of life in general) is not to be too concerned with having all the answers. I'm very jealous of people who know what they want to do from an early age and actually stick to it, but from what I've learned, that's very rare. For a long time I got bogged down with the pressure of these types of decisions but then I realised that some people just simply don't know what they want to do. And once I started thinking like that it felt like a weight off my shoulders. When you're so weighed down with stuffs like that, it's difficult for anyone to think clearly.

Yeah it is.
And that's awesome that you love the job you have now. I envy your comfort and happiness The idea of having a full time job and not having to study/write essays etc is very appealing to me.
And thanks Charlie

eli_ wrote:

Exactly!! In high school I saw people getting married and finding a job at 17, or deciding to become doctors and lawyers like that. It seems like a lot of stress to go through at that age. I'm (almost) 25 and I still have no clue what I'm going to be in two years, and I'm still fine!
Well, I'm a freaking mess, but you know what I mean

...sorry, this wasn't helpful at all.

and
I'd love getting a full time job i think, but i've also got pressure from my mother telling me i have to try to finish Uni because i'm wasting her money (which ok, i guess is fair enough).. she doesn't seem to understand that motivation isn't controlled by an on/off switch though.

I love you guys... all come to Australia so i can hug you, yes?

Happier thoughts:

I am watching PLL ep 23

I felt pressured into going to uni, so I did... For one year before dropping out. It's no good forcing yourself to do something that your heart and head isn't in. I've argued this with my parents many a time: if/when I know what I want to do with my life, I am more than capable of doing what I need to achieve it, regardless of what it is. Until then, leave me the hell alone, let me be young and make mistakes and learn from them.

Charlie wrote:

I felt pressured into going to uni, so I did... For one year before dropping out. It's no good forcing yourself to do something that your heart and head isn't in. I've argued this with my parents many a time: if/when I know what I want to do with my life, I am more than capable of doing what I need to achieve it, regardless of what it is. Until then, leave me the hell alone, let me be young and make mistakes and learn from them.

That is what i'm missing. Even if i want to do/become something, i'm not capable (right now) of doing it... It's hard to explain how being brain-dead feels haha.
But yeah i agree with what you're saying otherwise. You can't do something your head and heart isn't in. It's miserable and demotivating.

voteforalice1 wrote:

I love you guys... all come to Australia so i can hug you, yes?

Happier thoughts:

I am watching PLL ep 23

I fully intend to do this some day!

Unless you come to the UK first. In which case, I'll find you and hug you.

voteforalice1 wrote:

Charlie wrote:

I felt pressured into going to uni, so I did... For one year before dropping out. It's no good forcing yourself to do something that your heart and head isn't in. I've argued this with my parents many a time: if/when I know what I want to do with my life, I am more than capable of doing what I need to achieve it, regardless of what it is. Until then, leave me the hell alone, let me be young and make mistakes and learn from them.

That is what i'm missing. Even if i want to do/become something, i'm not capable (right now) of doing it... It's hard to explain how being brain-dead feels haha.
But yeah i agree with what you're saying otherwise. You can't do something your head and heart isn't in. It's miserable and demotivating.

Then maybe you're not ready to fully commit yourself to something like that. But beating yourself up about it is not going to help.

Charlie wrote:

Then maybe you're not ready to fully commit yourself to something like that. But beating yourself up about it is not going to help.

true

Quote :

Unless you come to the UK first. In which case, I'll find you and hug you.

This works too

I want a hug too
so jealous rn. I want in in your internet marriage, guys!

eli_ wrote:

I want a hug too
so jealous rn. I want in in your internet marriage, guys!

x 100

^one thousand hugs.

-----
Eli can be the mistress haha

x 100 too, Eli.

On an unrelated note, I'm eating pineapple flavour raisins right now. They're pretty good, not as good as the cola ones though, they tasted like sweets. Thought I'd give them a go. I'm trying to get the body for Bali at the same time as working for the money for Bali. I need to stop eating so much rubbish anyway.

me right now

^ aww.


Flavoured raisins exist?? I've only seen chocolate ones... And that's easy to picture because they're just surrounded by chocolate.

Yes, there are cherry, pineapple, lemon, orange, lime and cola 'infused' raisins. Normally I'm not a fan of raisins, I like my fruit hydrated. Lol. And I don't really like the taste or normal raisins, so these are ideal because I can get over the texture for the taste.

My friend, Chelsea, in work, who I sit opposite btw, just emailed me:

Email 1:

It is important you delete the next email I send you!!! haha

Email 2:

I slept with Rhys on Saturday/Sunday… and I was his second!! shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Bless her. She's liked him for ages but I was/am still convinced that he's gay. Whatevs. So anyway, I said, 'Chelsk, by Saturday slash Sunday, do you mean you can't remember if it was before or after midnight OR do you mean Saturday and Sunday?' And she was like 'and '.

I LOVE me some raisins (and dehydrated fruit), but I feel like chocolate would kinda ruin it

I hate chocolate raisins. Chocolate peanuts otoh... YUM!

I feel like this smiley was made for me. Lol. I used to have an ocd type thing with brushing my teeth. When I was little I'd brush them like 20+ times a day. I'm down to an average of 5 now though.

That's weird, isn't it?