Random Thoughts IX

Eliii

MissLilly wrote:

Eliii

love to get free hugs in the morning

MissLilly wrote:

Span_ski wrote:

Awwwww Lilly. This made me chuckle, and brought a first thing in the morning smile to my face. Thank you! Such a cute story.

I'm glad I could make you smile!

Hope you have a great day ahead of you!

Thank you! You too

eli_ wrote:

Hi, I'm back! As promised. Sorry I was a bit overdramatic yesterday

hey, what happened at GF?

Hi Eli!!!!

Some more morning hugs at ya!!

How's things going?

GF? No idea *runs to check*.... It's down by the looks of it. Well I can't access anything anyway.

Morning everyone! You'll have to keep me sane today. This ridiculous weather is causing a crazy amount of calls on our storm line and they're making deal with that instead of my normal peril. Kill me now...

I'm still grounded, which is maddening because I'm not a kid to ground, but I don't have a choice at the moment. I need to wait for him to calm down. He took my internet cable with him at work, like he used to do when I was 12 but I have a spare one hidden just in case! And my mom sneaks in to bring me food, so no starving either.
Look, what you have to understand is that I asked for it, I slapped him first the other night! I was so mad at him. I knew it was the stupid thing to do, but I couldn't help myself. And of course he was enraged. But then I just kinda got deflated and couldn't fight back and stood there. I don't know how he can keep raging on for hours, I can't stay mad for five minutes straight. So, um, it sucks, but rule #1 in this house is not to provoke him, and I totally did, so it's on me now.

Charlie wrote:

Morning everyone! You'll have to keep me sane today. This ridiculous weather is causing a crazy amount of calls on our storm line and they're making deal with that instead of my normal peril. Kill me now...

that sucks too. I suppose being rude is not an option

Do you have any option to live on your own at the moment, so you can better your situation?

Oh, Eli...

I understand that you were wrong to provoke him, I also understand his need for the initial response (anger issues or not, everyone is different, sometimes I struggle to control my temper). But he shouldn't make the 'punishment' last for days. It should be done by now. You're not a child, and he's the one acting like one. Isn't there somewhere else you can stay for a while?

eli_ wrote:

that sucks too. I suppose being rude is not an option

I wish I could get away with being blatanly rude sometimes. I'll have to settlle for sneaky sarcasm. Lol. And I'll get an hour break later because I'm going to give blood. I got a blood van to come to our car park.

I hope I can go to my grandma's for a while. Problem is she doesn't have internet, so I was hoping my sister would come back for Easter break and bring me her internet key. But no option for running away on a permanent basis. I'm not going to go anywhere, and that's totally my fault too, because I've never been able to live alone and I'm terrified he'd kick me out.

eli_ wrote:

I hope I can go to my grandma's for a while. Problem is she doesn't have internet, so I was hoping my sister would come back for Easter break and bring me her internet key. But no option for running away on a permanent basis. I'm not going to go anywhere, and that's totally my fault too, because I've never been able to live alone and I'm terrified he'd kick me out.

If I lived in Italy (which would be totally awesome, btw) you could definitely come and stay with me.

Charlie wrote:

Morning everyone! You'll have to keep me sane today. This ridiculous weather is causing a crazy amount of calls on our storm line and they're making deal with that instead of my normal peril. Kill me now...

Good morning Charlie!!! Hope it isn't too stressful for you today!!

Any chance of any OT for you though? (I'm trying to find a positive)

eli_ wrote:

I hope I can go to my grandma's for a while. Problem is she doesn't have internet, so I was hoping my sister would come back for Easter break and bring me her internet key. But no option for running away on a permanent basis. I'm not going to go anywhere, and that's totally my fault too, because I've never been able to live alone and I'm terrified he'd kick me out.

Awww Eli. I hope if you get a few days with your grandma he will have calmed down.

Living on your own isn't so bad though, you do get used to it. I understand it's not for everyone though...

Charlie wrote:

If I lived in Italy (which would be totally awesome, btw) you could definitely come and stay with me.

Ditto!

Charlie wrote:

If I lived in Italy (which would be totally awesome, btw) you could definitely come and stay with me.

thank youuuu. you guys are always the sweetest. LOL you'd hate me in 2 days, though. I'm so not good at human relations. And I really don't want to run away, so I'd probably won't come?

eli_ wrote:

because I've never been able to live alone

Why not?
I also did it at the age of 19 because of a complicated home-situation.
I had no job at that time but I still managed to build something up.

Span_ski wrote:

Charlie wrote:

Morning everyone! You'll have to keep me sane today. This ridiculous weather is causing a crazy amount of calls on our storm line and they're making deal with that instead of my normal peril. Kill me now...

Good morning Charlie!!! Hope it isn't too stressful for you today!!

Any chance of any OT for you though? (I'm trying to find a positive)

Probably. However, it will most likely only last for the duration of my holiday. Lol. Annoying...

Span_ski wrote:

Awww Eli. I hope if you get a few days with your grandma he will have calmed down.

Living on your own isn't so bad though, you do get used to it. I understand it's not for everyone though...

I'm just a very homey person. It takes me so long to get used to another place. That's one of the reasons I flunked out of college: I was so miserable living alone in another city, so I ran home to mommy every other week. I'm weak, you see. If I was to go live alone, I'd need to move to the other side of the world and never allow myself to come back again. Maybe one day I'll be strong enough to do that.
So you see, my dad has every right to be mad at me. It's definitely true that I'm here sucking away his life, like he says.

cinco wrote:

Why not?
I also did it at the age of 19 because of a complicated home-situation.
I had no job at that time but I still managed to build something up.

you're so strong. I'm always in awe of people like you. I'm just... I don't want to look for justifications, I'm just a coward, plain and simple.

eli_ wrote:

Charlie wrote:

If I lived in Italy (which would be totally awesome, btw) you could definitely come and stay with me.

thank youuuu. you guys are always the sweetest. LOL you'd hate me in 2 days, though. I'm so not good at human relations. And I really don't want to run away, so I'd probably won't come?

I'm surprisingly tolerant of annoying habits etc. And I don't allow someone to not socially interact. Hehe. You don't have to be good at it, you just have to try. And I would badger you until you had no choice. Nah, I like to think that I'm pretty easy to talk to and stuff, and I can usually get a conversation out of anyone.

Charlie wrote:

I'm surprisingly tolerant of annoying habits etc. And I don't allow someone to not socially interact. Hehe. You don't have to be good at it, you just have to try. And I would badger you until you had no choice. Nah, I like to think that I'm pretty easy to talk to and stuff, and I can usually get a conversation out of anyone.

yeah, you're exactly the kind of person I feel most awkward with. No offense. People that are always like "but why don't you talk/come outside/have fun". I just don't, never been able to. In my 3 years at college I managed to make one friend, and I was making an effort to be nice to her. I'm just not good with people.
Ugh, sorry, today I'm all like woe is me. I'll shut up now! Thanks to everyone for listening.

Eli, if your dad didn't want someone 'sucking away his life' as he puts it, maybe he should have though about that before having children? I life long commitment and all that. Just a thought.

eli_ wrote:

Charlie wrote:

I'm surprisingly tolerant of annoying habits etc. And I don't allow someone to not socially interact. Hehe. You don't have to be good at it, you just have to try. And I would badger you until you had no choice. Nah, I like to think that I'm pretty easy to talk to and stuff, and I can usually get a conversation out of anyone.

yeah, you're exactly the kind of person I feel most awkward with. No offense. People that are always like "but why don't you talk/come outside/have fun". I just don't, never been able to. In my 3 years at college I managed to make one friend, and I was making an effort to be nice to her. I'm just not good with people.
Ugh, sorry, today I'm all like woe is me. I'll shut up now! Thanks to everyone for listening.

No! I would make you like, go outside and interact with loads of people! That's awful. I know it's not nice to feel anxious in social situations. What I mean is, like, if you live with someone, you need to connect on some level, and I would find it.

Jeez, I'm not like that really annoying/obnoxious type of person who will drag you around to different places insisting that you should be having fun or you're not normal.

sorry, that wasn't nice from me. I definitely wasn't talking about you, just a bunch of other people in my life. I'm sure you're great Charlie, though, I really do!
and now I'll lurk away!

eli_ wrote:

you're so strong. I'm always in awe of people like you. I'm just... I don't want to look for justifications, I'm just a coward, plain and simple.

I never felt strong though. But sometimes hard or painful decisions are the only way to find a better road in life. There are services that can help you make your first steps regarding living on your own. Nobody deserves to live in a situation in which there's abuse. So think about it.
Even little steps like just informing about possibilities can mean a lot to strengthen your inner self.

eli_ wrote:

yeah, you're exactly the kind of person I feel most awkward with. No offense. People that are always like "but why don't you talk/come outside/have fun". I just don't, never been able to. In my 3 years at college I managed to make one friend, and I was making an effort to be nice to her. I'm just not good with people.
Ugh, sorry, today I'm all like woe is me. I'll shut up now! Thanks to everyone for listening.

Don't apologise for anything, no need for that .

About the people thing, it does get better. I used to be painfully shy. Forcing yourself through that barrier for a while can be tough, but once its done, it's done . Honest.

eli_ wrote:

sorry, that wasn't nice from me. I definitely wasn't talking about you, just a bunch of other people in my life. I'm sure you're great Charlie, though, I really do!
and now I'll lurk away!

I'm not offended! Don't be sorry. And don't disappear and lurk! I need you to entertain me.