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 Random Thoughts XIV

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MissLilly

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Posts : 3557
Location : Norway

PostSubject: Re: Random Thoughts XIV   Mon Aug 27, 2012 11:56 pm

Explain?
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Mike`

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Location : Ontario, Canada

PostSubject: Re: Random Thoughts XIV   Tue Aug 28, 2012 12:00 am

The whole dying for a cause thing, I suspecty it's a very noble reason to live, to drive yourself forward. The whole thing seems to be incredibly hypocritical, but it still makes sense. And then I wonder if someone can be a martyr if they don't know what they're dying for. The flock of people, of ideas, because of martryism. Maybe it's the me against the world mentality, I'm not sure. I knbow I'm particularly fascinated by the Iranian and Shiite Muslim concept of the martry.
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MissLilly

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PostSubject: Re: Random Thoughts XIV   Tue Aug 28, 2012 12:02 am

Is this just a complicated way of saying you want to die?
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Mike`

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PostSubject: Re: Random Thoughts XIV   Tue Aug 28, 2012 12:05 am

I don't think so, but it would be a conclusion that could be reached. It's nopt that I want to die, it's that I want something to live for.

Alcohol solves thinking.,
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MissLilly

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Location : Norway

PostSubject: Re: Random Thoughts XIV   Tue Aug 28, 2012 12:10 am

I hear ya! We all need something to live for.
So what are the things you care about?
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Mike`

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PostSubject: Re: Random Thoughts XIV   Tue Aug 28, 2012 12:12 am

The only answer I have it that right now is, well me. I live to succeed, bnut without the actual desire or the drive.

I',m pretty sure I love me more than I hate me, and I hate everything else even if mkost of the time I bury that deep down where it can't consciously bother me.
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MissLilly

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Location : Norway

PostSubject: Re: Random Thoughts XIV   Tue Aug 28, 2012 12:18 am

Okay. But is there nothing you wish to use that success to accomplish in the world outside yourself? Perhaps there lies the desire and drive you need to actually succeed?
And quitting the weed may also be helpful in that aspect (just throwing that out there).

And I don't think you hate everything else. It may frustrate you, and you could try to figure out why, but I don't think you hate. Hate is a very strong word to use.
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Mike`

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Location : Ontario, Canada

PostSubject: Re: Random Thoughts XIV   Tue Aug 28, 2012 12:21 am

Haha I've actually cut back incredibly over the last few weeks, moneyh's not there. I've been high I think three days of the past two weeks.

I'm sure there\s something, I'm frustrated at searching. Hate is a strong word, and it's the word I meant to use. I feel like I've past frustrated years ago; hate is almost emotionless, and emotionless is how I feel.
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MissLilly

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Location : Norway

PostSubject: Re: Random Thoughts XIV   Tue Aug 28, 2012 12:39 am

That's good Thumbs Up Just keep it that way Wink

Guaranteed there is something. And it may even be so obvious that you're blind to it.
I think the reason for being is something that always encompasses you, and always has.
Like for instance, I always thought my reason for being was to be a mother, and I still think it is, just not that alone. I just feel like I have all this love and care that needs to go somewhere. So a child would be the personal success, if you want to put it that way, but to extend that love and care outside my own life is the greater purpose. So, that is what I try to do. It's where I'm going with my education, I plan to be a foster parent at some point, I basically mother everybody around me. It's just what always was meant to be I think. And it was always me, I just didn't always know it.
You get what I am saying? And I do think that everybody needs to do/be something good for the world to really feel whole. Self-centeredness gets no one nowhere.
Be that taking care of people/plants/animals, inventing useful things, or whatever.
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Mike`

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Location : Ontario, Canada

PostSubject: Re: Random Thoughts XIV   Tue Aug 28, 2012 12:45 am

I do get exactgly what uyou're saying, I think. But when I search, it just feels empty right now. I've always figured I'll just hop on a plane one day to the Mid-East, or Africa, or somewhere mighty dangerous for people who mean harm, and just start walking. Maybe there's a book there, but at the very least it's always seemed like a purpoise to me. Start in |Tehran and don't stop until Kathmandu.
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MissLilly

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Location : Norway

PostSubject: Re: Random Thoughts XIV   Tue Aug 28, 2012 12:55 am

Well, there you have a purpose. I bet there is a lot to experience and learn on such a trip. Wisdom to apply to life in general later on. And you could have the possibility to do good for people who need it that you meet along the way.

How about joining the Red Cross, Doctors Without Borders, or some other organisation that travel and do stuff on voluntary basis?
It could be a start.

What is it you're studying again?
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Mike`

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Location : Ontario, Canada

PostSubject: Re: Random Thoughts XIV   Tue Aug 28, 2012 1:02 am

I've considered that. I was actually in a program that would have sent me to Africa for a summer but it fell through. I've got two years of college left for my accounting designations, then I'll do somethingf. The question is what that something is and how to get through the two years with my sanity intact.
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MissLilly

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Location : Norway

PostSubject: Re: Random Thoughts XIV   Tue Aug 28, 2012 1:06 am

You have two years to figure out what exactly that something is then. Meanwhile, what about a life coach, or therapy?
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Mike`

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Location : Ontario, Canada

PostSubject: Re: Random Thoughts XIV   Tue Aug 28, 2012 1:22 am

My mother's asked me if I've been interested in therapy a number of times and I've always refused on the arrogant principle that I know me better than a therapist does, so I can be my own therapist. As it is now, even if I wanted one, and maybe I do, I don't know, the money's not there.
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MissLilly

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PostSubject: Re: Random Thoughts XIV   Tue Aug 28, 2012 1:25 am

What if you talk to your mother about it, maybe she'd be willing to pay?
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Mike`

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Location : Ontario, Canada

PostSubject: Re: Random Thoughts XIV   Tue Aug 28, 2012 1:25 am

She's paying for my travel expenses back and forth to school; hence the money not being there. It's an hour drive each way for me to go to school every day this semester since I moved away from home. I plan on moving back, but not until after Christmas when the house is ready.
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MissLilly

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PostSubject: Re: Random Thoughts XIV   Tue Aug 28, 2012 1:30 am

Schools usually have someone available for talks and such, maybe your school has that and you can go there? Maybe they'll even refer you to someone and it won't cost you a dime? I don't know how that works in Canada, but I was sent to a therapist by my schools guidance counselor when I was in high school, and it didn't cost anything.
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Mike`

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Location : Ontario, Canada

PostSubject: Re: Random Thoughts XIV   Tue Aug 28, 2012 1:31 am

Certainly an interesting concept. Although by the time I'm on campus in two weeks I suspect it'll be buried and essentially irrelevant for another while.
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MissLilly

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PostSubject: Re: Random Thoughts XIV   Tue Aug 28, 2012 1:36 am

Well, just hang in there! Things will look up eventually smile
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Sez

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Location : Australia

PostSubject: Re: Random Thoughts XIV   Tue Aug 28, 2012 1:49 am

I have a virus no antibiotics at this stage but bed rest and panadol.
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Isa

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PostSubject: Re: Random Thoughts XIV   Tue Aug 28, 2012 8:42 am

Hope you feel better soon! Hug
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Sez

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PostSubject: Re: Random Thoughts XIV   Tue Aug 28, 2012 9:25 am

Thanks Isa smile about to catch up on some much needed sleep lol
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Span_ski

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Location : UK

PostSubject: Re: Random Thoughts XIV   Tue Aug 28, 2012 9:55 am

Get well soon Sez!!
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MissLilly

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Posts : 3557
Location : Norway

PostSubject: Re: Random Thoughts XIV   Tue Aug 28, 2012 10:19 am

The sun is scorching today! We were promised rain and floods, but it couldn't be farther from it. It's not like it's really that hot outside either on a general basis, but sitting directly in the sun... Ouch!
What up weather gods?

Anyway, home sweet home. I'm feeling the just a couple hours of sleep I had today, getting sleepy. Hello coffee!! coffee
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Charles

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Location : Wales

PostSubject: Re: Random Thoughts XIV   Tue Aug 28, 2012 10:58 am

Hey people! I'm training people for the next three weeks. So... basically doing nothing! Yay!
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